Wednesday, April 23, 2008

~Girls, Self Esteem, Apples & Boys~

I saw this on the internet and it really hit home with me.

Are our little girls like apples? Are we teaching them to be at the top? Do they feel worthy of love and adoration?

I am so saddened lately, about the promiscuous nature of our little girl children.

I’ve read reports about girls as young as eleven, engaging in sexual behavior. Is it because they idolize the likes of Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus (who has some pretty racy pictures out there, despite being only fifteen) or because their self worth depends on the attention of a boy?

Popularity is so important to teens, but, popularity at what cost? Being provocative and sexually available may be necessary for "popularity", but it will ruin the girls reputation, hurt their heart, damage their soul and ultimately CHANGE who they are and who they are meant to be.

It is important to tell our daughters, our sisters and our girlfriends how incredibly special each and everyone of them are. The man who finally wins their heart, should be as incredible and discriminatory as they are. Focus on their intelligence, their talents, special gifts~Help them love themselves so much, no one could corrupt their unique, special essence.

I think anytime a girl gives up a part of herself, in the hopes of winning the affection of a young man, and the young man “loves her and leaves her”, that part of her heart and soul erodes.

Every bit of innocence that is taken selfishly, hardens and hurts the heart.

I know we have a double standard in our society. We have forever. My mother taught me that is up to the girl to say “no”, because the boy won’t.

I’ve never raised a boy, so I don’t know what I would have taught him, with regard to this subject. I hope I would tell him to respect all girls and women, and don’t treat any female any differently than he would his own mother or sister.

Respect and revere; don’t use and abuse.

My darling father, now deceased, was a modest man. I remember my mother telling me that after having two daughters, he never looked at “sexy” girls the same. If he saw a girl behaving provocatively ( ie the Lido Review in Las Vegas, or the one time he and my mom were on a beach where some girls were topless) he would look away, rather than soak up the vision.

The reason?

My mother told me it was because all he could see in those women, was the fact that they were also daughters~ little innocent girls at one time. All he saw, was my sister and me, and perish the thought that we would be leered upon by some man.

We need our girls to value themselves, and we need our young men to appreciate and respect them for the goddesses they are. By respecting the opposite sex, the young men will become better husbands and fathers. By valuing themselves, the girls will be stronger, wiser and much more appealing. Love yourself and others will love you. Be brilliant and you will attract brilliance. A glowing spirit is anyone's best asset.

High self worth and respect makes for a better society. Tell you daughter, your sister, your friend, YOURSELF that you are worthy of all the love and respect the universe offers!

We should never sell ourselves short.


Christin said...

What an incredible post Nancy. Wise words. What an incredible man your father was as well. Oh that all women would realize their true inner beauty and know that what is on the outside that is so shamelessly flaunted many times will eventually go. How much better for us to focus on developing lasting relationships and learn to keep those relationships for life. Thank you for a wonderful reminder and encouragement.

Nancy Ellyn said...

thank you so much for your kind words, Christin~

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post and a great blog. If society could just get back to basic parenting techniques, what a difference it would make. Create confidence, patience and respect in your children ( and don't forget a work ethic!). Leading by example needs to move to the forefront of modern culture and maybe we have a shot.
Thanks for a great read!

Anonymous said...


I somehow clicked onto this blog page while trying to search: "reasons why men are so conceited" on google and this came up. I'm very thankful that it did because sometimes being in a relationship can make you forget who you are as a person and we tend to ignore our needs. I agree with your article that we definitely lose ourselves. Thank you so much for reminding me why girls should have self-esteem and respect themselves at a high priority. I hope to share this with all my girlfriends.


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