Saturday, November 15, 2008

Exciting New Health Advice For Women~Chardonnay May Be the Answer!

How many times have you reached for a cool white wine at the end of a long hard day? It seems Chardonnay is the choice for many women! Keep reading!


Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist (or bartender or liquor store clerk) about Chardonnay.

Chardonnay is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.

Chardonnay can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. No more secrets!

You will notice the benefits of Chardonnay almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living, with Chardonnay.

Chardonnay may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Chardonnay. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration,erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNINGS: -

* The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

* The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to tell your
friends over and over again that you love them.

* The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to think you can
sing.

* The consumption of Chardonnay may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

* The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you can
logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

* The consumption of Chardonnay may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Now Just Imagine What You Could Achieve With a Good Dry Red!!!

(this was too cute not to pass along... remember~MODERATION in EVERYTHING!)

12 comments:

MyFairLadyVT4 said...

As I am reading this I am drinking Merlot. How funny! Great article.

PaulsHealthblog.com said...

Hilarious post indeed!

Lea said...

That was so funny. I loved it! Thank you for sharing and for the laugh. Have a great weekend!

HEALTH NUT WANNABEE MOM said...

I am still laughing and yes, I always seem to think that ex-lovers want me to call them at 4 in the morning when I drink a little Chardonnay. Hope you are well!

Doc said...

ROFL...

I am not a white wine girl (please don't make me leave the blog) it just gives me terrible heart burn, but this post was totally hilar...

The Fitness Diva said...

Girrlll, you can come pour me a glass of that right here, right now!
I don't need any convincing of the wonders and 'healing properties' of chardonnay! :)

Mommyto2 said...

I'm all about the Reds, but do on occasion like a good Chardonnay. White wine affects me totally different than red, Hubby gets scared when he sees White wine in the house, as well he should, lol.

Preston said...

Great post! My daughter prefers red wines like Merlot and Melbec. Does the same apply?

Preston said...

Hey, we haven't heard from you in a while. I hope all is well.

Jack Payne said...

Love your list of benefits, Nancy. The warning about consumption of alcohol may make you think can sing also appeared on a bottle of the hard booze, too.

Debbie said...

Of course, Miss Nancy Ellyn, you and I have known the amazing benefits, of Chardonnay, FOR YEARS!!! haha! I love you and miss you! I'm sending all my love to you from Texas! debbie jan

advice for women said...

LOL! I am not a health guru but sounds like you have a real good doctor there, I would sure want to give it a try but I doubt if mine would give me that prescription :)

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